A Changed Person

It's been quite awhile,
And I'm a different person!

I no longer move with Newtonian, but of Maxwell or Quantum.

What's there to share but His Face?
Where?
Everywhere! In everything!
To an extent where I find a problem drawing a line.

I can do everything and I cannot do anything!

Tiada Aku TanpaMu!

I turn the Music up!!

I turn the Music up, I got my Records on....I shut the world outside until the Lights come on...Maybe the streets alight maybe the trees are gone...I feel my heart start beating to my favourite Song!

Loving You

Loving You,
Is easy cos' You are Beautiful!

Dead Lions

All the lions are dead,
So what we have are eunuchs!

Tanpa, cintaMu aku hampa!

Back to School

To register as a doctoral candidate, one submits a novel proposal.
One then gets admitted to the school.

How do I get admitted into this graduation picture?
I think, by death!

I Don't Belong Here!

The Rough Sea and The Pole

I'm in a rough sea,
Hanging to a Pole,
On days when the sun shines bright,
The Pole appears a friend that keeps me safe,
The Pole is the only thing that keeps me from drowning.
The Pole is a friend.
The Pole is a Mercy.

On nights of thunderstorm,
When my limbs are thrown around,
There's a temptation of letting go of the Friend,
It gets tough to hold on.
Stupidly, drowning seems better than living.
Stupidly.

.

You.

Without which, I disintegrate!

Why Mimi?

...Because in this House of Mercy, majority forgets The Generous Giver,
and that pains me!

...Because I know Him,
and when there was absolutely no one that could save me,
He was there!

...Because I am here a servant,
and He is my only Master!

Impossible Not to Do!

"I know I felt like this before,
But now I feel it even more..."

Sweet Home...

I've never felt so alone all my life,
And yet, so not alone!

I've never felt this discontentedly, content!

Have never felt so out-of-place,
My room makes no more sense!

My heart takes charge, where my brain once was,
As though, decapitated!

I want to go Home!

Cure Me

Say that Name just one more time, for no music will carry my feelings through,
Say that Name, for my eyes can hold no more!

Say that Name just one more time, for it tags at my heart,
Say that Name, for my soul can bear no more!

Say that Name just one more time, for nothing else move me,
Say that Name, relieve me from this misery!

Say that Name just one more time, for without which I'm empty,
Say that Name and fill me!

Say that Name just one more time, let it ring through me,
Say that Name and I'm happy!

Say that Name just one more time, let Its Greatness cure me,
Say that Name and cure me!

You

I hear nothing but Your Voice,
And when I turn...Your Glare.

I see nothing but Your Greatness,
And in each...Your Stare!

I feel nothing but Your Breeze,
And on my skin...I'm bare.

I turn to look...though in vain,
I know, You're There!

Marrakech

You, who would like to forever hide,
Never to be known,
To Beg and Beg,
You will never fit this city,
Not your robe...Nor your beard...Nor your demeanor!

A city that's becoming less yours,
A city that once was,
The hub of Knowledge!

You, who appear savage,
On the street built by savages,
You will never fit this city...not anymore.

A city that once was,
Built by savages!

Marrakech,
You were built by defenders!
Those that stared piercingly into the eyes of modernity and denied them!
You stood firm through desert storm and snow,
For your walls were plated with gold,
Gold that was the savage!

Al-Hambra

If these walls could talk,
They would have said,
"Indeed, no one conquers except Allah (Wa la Ghaliba Illa Allah),
And that the Sierra Nevada on the background testifies those words,
Enough is it for you...and, enough is Allah for you!"

If these walls could talk,
They would have advised you to abase yourself by the grandeur of the snow capped mountains, and the contrast of the blue sky against the green-white columns that upholds it,
And not through the paradox of the engravings that you made out of your feeling majestic!

If these walls could talk,
They would have reminded you of Majesty,
And being reminded of Majesty, you are reminded to bow and hide your powers,
For they were never yours!

If these walls could talk,
They would have advised you to hide in the streets,
Gathered amongst the Faqirs...in glorification!

If these walls could talk,
They would have beg to return to ground where they belong,
To prostrate to the Power they witnessed, that sank the un-sinkable,
To be with Him in solitude,
For He lies not within these walls...nor any other!

Langkah ku

Langkah kemana kaki ini?
Ke arah mana?
Menuju mana jalan ku ini?

Langkah kemana kaki ini?
Kerja apa tangan ini?
Tua ini umurnya kemana?

Langkah kemana kaki ini?
Keringat ku mengalir dibakari apa?
Lihat apa mata ini?

Langkah kemana kaki ini?
Juangnya apa?
Hasilnya, adakah cukup seberapa?

Langkah kemana kaki ini?
Sampaikah ke tempat tuju?
Tahukah tempat tuju, jasad ini?

Kau langkahkan lah kaki ku ini,
Peganglah perjalanan ku ini,
Tujukan lah ia kepadaMu!

'Twas a Year Ago

Twas a year ago that I looked behind my back,
And you were limping trying to catch up!
When something about your presence caught my attention,
Tagged at my heart!

"I can be myself now, finally,
In fact, there's nothing I can't be!"

And this song set the background of that memory.

On Your Birthday

If there was one person on earth who deserves a gift on his birthday,
It would have been you!
For, it was only you who gave up your entire life in the struggle for His Acceptance of us!
That is just how much you care.

You forsake your pleasures and gratifications,
When He asked for whether you would like Suleyman's fortunes,
You told Him...Later!
Instead, You told Him to pardon us,
Something we don't deserve!
We who so nonchalantly gave away your life's struggle for a short acceptance by mortals,
Who so easily 'diss' off your ways in the name of modernity,
We who so dare call that city, prehistoric!
How dare!

And yet,
On this day that marks an act of Mercy from Him,
I could only imagine what you would say if you were here,
When I pose a question for what is it that you would like,
You would have said,
Nothing would make you happier on this day,
Than my total obedience to Him.
You would have told me to kiss the ground and Glorify the Magnificence above my lowered head,
To Glorify the Magnificence in the morning and late in the afternoon,
To follow the things you've enjoined...not because of anything, but because it's the best way to get through this short passage,
And then,
You would have told me to long for return!

On the eve of your birthday,
I ask not the things that I would have done for you,
But...
What would I have not done for you...Sallallah hu 'alayhi wassallam?

Love Dogs

One night, a man was crying,

"Allah! ..... Allah!"

His lips grew sweet with the praising,
Until a cynic said,

“So, I've heard you calling out, but have you ever gotten any response?”

The man had no answer to that,
He quit praying and fell into a confused sleep,
He dreamt he saw Khidr, the guide of souls, in a thick, green foliage.

Khidr : Why did you stop praising?
The man : Because I never heard anything back

Khidr:
This longing you express is the return message!
The grief you cry out from draws you toward union!
Your pure sadness that wants help is the secret cup!
Listen to the moan of a dog for its master,that whining is the connection!

There are love dogs,
No one knows the names of,
Give your life to be one of them!

One night, a woman was crying,

"Allah! ..... Allah!"

- Adapted from Mawlana Jalaludin Rumi

Elixir

Kau yang berselindung
Di balik sutra
Warnamu pelangi

Engkau mustika hati
Pesona Cinta
Mahligai Rindu

Malam dingin yang kejam
Aku tiada gentar
Kerna Cintamu

Misteri alam yang terbongkar
Lena jadi sedar
Kerna Kasihmu

Yang dulu ku cari
Rupa-rupanya ada di Sini
Dan yang bermain di Mimpi
Menjelmalah Engkau dalam realiti

Dulu lalu depan mata
Tapi ku tak hirau
Ku Tak peduli
Tapi setelah ku tahu
Hanya Engkau Teman
Kau tak ku lepaskan

Mustika

Mestikah aku menjadi penanti?
Pelukan sakti Cinta SuciMu
Aku tak sabar menantikan esok hari
Bawalah daku bersamaMu

Oh, Mustika hatiku

Larat Nan Damai...

The Furrows Around My Eyes...

The furrows around my eyes irrigated tears,
Each night that I lie in bed,
Where neither right nor left is right,
I toss and turn thinking,
What if tonight is the last night I lie here?
Will the pillow underneath my head be of earth tomorrow?
Or of more than I've ever seen in my mortal years?

The furrows around my eyes irrigated tears,
Each time Your Name beats in my mouth,
Each time It beats in my breath,
Each time It beats in the still silent night,
I cry myself to bed,
Not entirely sure if I'm scared of You or desperately long for You!
I cry myself to bed, overwhelmed by silence.

The furrows around my eyes irrigated tears,
For the time I wasted, that was my every breath,
For not being capable of not wasting them,
For not knowing what to do,
For this prison that are my limbs,
For my soul that wants to soar and fly,
For this prison that is my being,
For my abject dependence on You.

The furrows around my eyes irrigated tears,
And they have made me small and insignificant because they now see Your Presence,
I hope for them to be an intercession for my limbs,
That only knew paralysis in the throes of passion, and faces of anger!