2009

I woke up in 2009...
Before which, I was asleep, pseudo-alive (bordering on dead!)
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M likes to chant the following Hadith to me, he would go:

"Mimi, things that miss you, will never hit you..
And those that hit you, could never have missed you"

And the meaning of being alive (IMHO),
Is to realize to your very core the meaning of that Hadith!

A dear scholar use to say,
That waking up is painful!
And it is!
For, its realizing that nothing is in your hands,
That despite plans and PDAs,
Despite proven track records of Gantt Charts,
NOTHING is in your hands!
NOTHING!
NOTHING!

Not the things you put in your mouth,
Nor the activities in your day,
Those you carefully plan!

If I may use an analogy to describe what 2009 was to me,
It was a trip,
A road trip,
To a neighboring state, Ipoh,
The car we had was a brand new Beamer (cannot go wrong!)
The tank was full,
We had GPS, and even a comprehensive physical map should anything go wrong,
Signboards on the road was clear,
The sun was an envy!
There was no way I could not have make it to my destination...
And we found ourselves swimming in the sea instead of Ipoh the next minute!!

I'm not talking regrets,
For, who am I to regret, or fret, or even question??
Nor am I complaining,
For, who am I to complain, what was I to complain about?

In fact,
I am thankful,
I walk around alive now!
I know who I am, through who I'm not!

He woke me up in 2009...
At the age of 27!
For before that, I was dead from obliviousness!
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As of today, I'm barely 1!
Still a baby...
And for that, may He forgive my shortcomings,
I have just been born :)
And, on top of a lifetime of learning to do,
I have 27 years worth of un-learning to do!

May He overlook my shortcomings,
And accept my struggles.
May 2010, be a meaningful 1st birthday :)
Ameen